"Behaviour is our best effort at any given time and situation with the skills we have to obtain what we want"
THE SIX (6) TYPES OF CHALLENGING KIDS
PART SIX – THE PASSIVE RESISTER
There are six easily identifiable personas that children with challenging behaviour fit into according to Clinical Psychologist Andrew Fuller.
They are: Manipulators
Negotiators
Debaters
Competitors
Dare Devils
Passive Resisters
The Passive Resistor (Mahatma Gandhi, Aung San Suu Kyi): is usually vague, secretive and disorganised, they tend to move through life slowly. They tend to be unaware of things ie ‘why didn’t you do your homework?’ they would reply ‘what homework?’ They have a tendency to infuriate and drive their parents mad.
Passive resisters are often very bright and very sensitive and can retreat and avoid life in order to avoid failure, and like competitors don’t care much for consequences. They tend to have a style of learned ‘helplessness’ which is passive and appear to hope that all will go away. They appear calm on the outside and often retreat from life and become very private about their thoughts and feelings. They often lose possessions and appear not to listen of take in information. These kids are minimalists in both action and verbal conversations, often with one word answers.
What does not work for these kids is yelling, insisting, pleading, trying to be a motivational coach or guessing what they are thinking. However, frequently an increase in responsibility brings about desire change.
The best way to influence these kids is to build a positive relationship. During this relationship building phase look directly at them when talking to them and do not accept shrugs and one word answers. Basically you need to think of decreasing pressure and increasing presence. They need to know that it is not an option to avoid some family interaction. Look for opportunities to their confidence and competence by caring for others or pets.
