THE SIX (6) TYPES OF CHALLENGING KIDS PART FOUR – THE COMPETITOR

"Behaviour is our best effort at any given time and situation with the skills we have to obtain what we want"

THE SIX (6) TYPES OF CHALLENGING KIDS

PART FOUR – THE COMPETITOR

There are six easily identifiable personas that children with challenging behaviour fit into according to Clinical Psychologist Andrew Fuller.

They are:          Manipulators

                        Negotiators

                        Debaters

                        Competitors

                        Dare Devils

                        Passive Resisters

The Competitor (Lance Armstrong, Winston Churchill): has an incredible spirit, and can conquer the world. These kids like to boast, and do not handle losing well. They are best summarised by ‘second place is first of the losers’. When faced with conflict they build a fortress for their stance.

Competitors are defiant to the extreme, and need to win at all cost. They are happy to cut off their nose to spite their face. They are often sponges to attention and will often do anything to avoid losing face.

When dealing with a competitor it is important to firstly realise that consequences hold little fear and make little difference to them. If you ground them, they will say fine ground me I’m happy in my room.

Again these kids love an audience and so never enter into conflict with a competitor in the presence of an audience as you will loose. Competitors respond best when parents challenge them, however be careful not to directly ‘bet’ your child. Use third person challenges such as “not many people would believe that you could…..” or “not many people would believe you were responsible enough to…..”

                                    

Do not compare their performance to others but rather to their past performances. One oversight often seen with these kids is that because winning comes so naturally t these kids we can overlook the fact that they are not good at just playing games. Look fr opportunities to involve them in activities that are not competitive, there is no winner or loser, such as theatre sports or drama. Competitors are usually good at taking responsibility and it is important to ensure that they have a few age appropriate areas of responsibility in order to assist their development.